i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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