"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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