It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
