I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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