Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
