and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
