I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
