its not stalking. its research.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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