Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I had to cum in my sink.
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