"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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