OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
