i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
