garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Congratulations! We have a period
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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