I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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