i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
