I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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