Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
