I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
