i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
porn star boner night. come get it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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