I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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