My liver just broke up with me...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
