Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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