so let's talk penis.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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