I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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