life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize