i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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