it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize