did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
