Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
