Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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