I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
