I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
