yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
