I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
