I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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