im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
