Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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