In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
