I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
