Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My pussy is not your playground.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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