i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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