I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
