But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
