The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
