Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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