Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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