Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
