Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
