i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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