yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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