He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
