can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I will pee on everything he values.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
