This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
