I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
