I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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