I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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