I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
