So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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