i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We need to get me chipped asap
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