a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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