I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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