Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
