KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
