so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
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Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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